Skiing, Tennis, Golf, Tae Kwon Do, Swimming – I am not starting a list of all the sports I can think of in a minute. It’s actually sort of a confession. These are the sports in which my son is currently participating (not including the pick-up basketball and football games at school, Ping Pong and of course the non-athletic activities of chess and Spanish). He is eight years old. Please don’t think we are forcing our child to engage in any of these activities. We’re not. In fact, we’ve told him that at some point we need to narrow down this list to make room for his increasing homework load, but for now he loves them all. I realize that in other countries, this is not the norm. First and second graders are not throwing themselves into a packed calendar of structured sports, and, even more curious to our foreign friends, parents are not spending large portions of their own lives developing the sports’ careers of their children from the age of 3 (and younger).
Statistics support their suspicions about us Americans. According to a 2008 report, “Go Out and Play: Participation in Team or Organized Sports” created by the Women’s Sports Foundation, 69 percent of U.S. girls and 75 percent of U.S. boys participate in organized sports. According to a 2013 report, this means that roughly 35,000,000 U.S. children between the ages of 5 and 18 choose to play some organized sports. Which sports are the most popular? For children under 9, soccer and baseball seem to dominate, but by the age of 9, basketball is the sport of choice for many U.S. boys and girls. Other sports, like Martial Arts, are gaining popularity in the U.S., as a result of youth involvement. Clearly, these numbers support the theory that Americans love to see their kids involved in sports. But why, many foreign friends wonder.
Well, wondering the same thing, I took to the (suburban) American streets to find out. I wasn’t expecting anyone to admit that they force their kids into sports to build their college resumes or that they are really hoping that their 11 year old will one day receive an athletic scholarship to college (which is, by the way, incredibly rare: the U.S. National Collegiate Athletic Association cites a statistic of about 2 percent of high school athletes being awarded some sort of athletic scholarship to compete in college). Of course, there are those parents who do covet those scholarships for their kids and yes, those parents who somehow need their kids to live out their own fallen hopes of athletic glory do exist, but beyond these unavoidable realities, the responses were remarkably well thought out and more varied than I ever imagined.
Some U.S. parents emphasize how sports are able to teach their children commitment, integrity, and responsibility. According to the Kids Play USA Foundation, children who play youth sports are less likely to skip class, join a gang or abuse drugs. This may have to do with the mental and physical commitment children have to make to their teams. As children get older, sports become more competitive. As a result, athletes must commit huge amounts of time and energy to their teams. As they learn to work with one another and improve their athletic skills, many students develop deep relationships and ultimately rely on each other. The result can be lasting friendships among the players as well as an expectation that everyone take responsibility for him or herself for the sake of the team. For example, Jenny’s* 12-year old son Andrew had serious issues waking up at 7:00 a.m. She would practically need a bullhorn to get him up for school in the morning. When he joined a travel baseball team, she sat down with him to talk about how he would need to get up at 5:30 in the morning for some of his weekend games. The coach had a zero lateness policy, which meant that if you were late for the game, you sat out for the game. The morning of the first Saturday morning game, Jenny found Andrew fully dressed, eating breakfast in the kitchen at 5:30 am. He said that if he didn’t show up on time for his game, his teammates were going to “kick his butt.” He woke himself on time for every Saturday game during the season. Jenny thought a miracle had occurred. To Jenny, sports gave Andrew the motivation to take responsibility for his own actions – something that his parents couldn’t do for him.
Perhaps not surprisingly, some American parents begin preparing their children for athletics at an incredibly early age. Gina has very young children, ages 4 and 2. Her 4 year old has already started hockey, tennis and tae kwon do, as well as taken toddler multi-sports classes. She is anxious to get her boys involved in sports and has given a lot of thought to the benefits of athletic involvement. Her reasons are threefold: First, in Gina’s opinion, athletic kids are generally “the cool kids.” For her, athletic prowess will not only give her children an elevated social status that could be essential in an increasingly complicated teen social culture, but also help prevent them from being bullied. Second, Gina feels that this higher social status associated with being a talented athlete carries over into adulthood. This realization struck her at her golf club where she noticed that the best golfers were the most sought after for rounds of golf by other members of the club. To her, childhood athletics can pave the way for important social connections in the future, which can prove valuable socially as well as professionally. Finally, having seen her nephew’s commitment to swimming and the arduous hours he devotes to it, Gina sees how a sport can demonstrate the value of hard work: “I had always thought sports came easily to athletic kids. And while that may be true somewhat, I now realize the amount of passion, dedication and grit that are needed to be at the top.”
While the American commitment to youth athletics is certainly cultural, this enthusiasm can be quite contagious, quickly acquired by parents who come to call the U.S. home as adults. When Lynn immigrated to the U.S. with her husband, she was shocked to see how intense the parental interest was in all things athletics. Having young kids, she couldn’t imagine what all the fuss was about. As her children became grade school age, though, she began to see advantages to involving her kids in sports programs. She recognized sports as a way for her kids to incorporate exercise as part of a healthy lifestyle. Having three very different children, she also realized that sports were not a one size fits all activity, so that each of her kids could find a sport that was right for them. Her more reserved daughter thrived in her martial arts class (ultimately progressing to black belt), while her more overtly active boys were drawn to soccer and tennis respectively. Athletics had a way of bringing out the best in her children, and Lynn and her husband became fans of sports being integral to their family life.
Finally, U.S. parents can start their kids off in sports for one reason and then find that there are entirely different benefits to these activities. Michelle had this very experience with her high school aged twins. Originally, she thought that high-energy sports like swimming, soccer and gymnastics would be healthy outlets for her girls’ seemingly endless amounts of energy. Although the sports didn’t seem to tire the girls out, they enjoyed participating and found close friends on their teams. What Michelle did discover was that as the girls began to compete seriously in their sports, the team commitment provided a necessary structure around which the girls could organize their studies. When the girls had practice or a swim meet or game, they knew they only had a certain amount of time to finish up their homework obligations. Without any sort of mandated schedule from sports, the girls would dawdle with their work, and it never really got completed as well as when there was a time deadline because of practice or a competition. For Michelle’s kids, sports had inadvertently added an organizational structure to their daily activities, helping to create better-organized kids.
After listening to other Americans’ reasons for encouraging their kids to participate in sports, even if that means waking up at 5:00 in the morning, every morning, to drive their kids to ice hockey, gymnastics or swimming, I began to reflect on my reasons for wanting my children to start their own sports experiences. The answer, I realized, had a lot to do with my upbringing. My parents always emphasized academic success and never encouraged us to engage in any sort of athletic competition. As a child, seeing other kids completely invested in their teams made me feel slightly alienated, as though I was missing some part of my childhood. Fast forward a few decades, and you have me – a novice golfer and an amateur tennis player who winces at the thought of anyone actually watching me engage in an athletic activity. I can’t help but feel that participating in childhood sports may have helped me with my athletic misgivings. The result – I want my own kids to enjoy sports when they are young. I think it will help them gain a certain confidence, so that they can feel comfortable, no matter what their skill level, whether playing a round of golf or skiing a black diamond without cringing at every mistake they make. If they decide sports aren’t for them (definitely not the direction in which they seem to be headed), then that’s okay, but in the mean time I will relish every moment on the sideline. As my husband put it best while we watched our son rallying with a friend in tennis: “I would rather watch this than the U.S. Open any day.”
So what do you think? Does it still seem strange that Americans sacrifice so much for their child athletes? Would you give it a try?Skiing, Tennis, Golf, Tae Kwon Do, Swimming – I am not starting a list of all the sports I can think of in a minute. It’s actually sort of a confession. These are the sports in which my son is currently participating (not including the pick-up basketball and football games at school, Ping Pong and of course the non-athletic activities of chess and Spanish). He is eight years old. Please don’t think we are forcing our child to engage in any of these activities. We’re not. In fact, we’ve told him that at some point we need to narrow down this list to make room for his increasing homework load, but for now he loves them all. I realize that in other countries, this is not the norm. First and second graders are not throwing themselves into a packed calendar of structured sports, and, even more curious to our foreign friends, parents are not spending large portions of their own lives developing the sports’ careers of their children from the age of 3 (and younger).
Statistics support their suspicions about us Americans. According to a 2008 report, “Go Out and Play: Participation in Team or Organized Sports” created by the Women’s Sports Foundation, 69 percent of U.S. girls and 75 percent of U.S. boys participate in organized sports. According to a 2013 report, this means that roughly 35,000,000 U.S. children between the ages of 5 and 18 choose to play some organized sports. Which sports are the most popular? For children under 9, soccer and baseball seem to dominate, but by the age of 9, basketball is the sport of choice for many U.S. boys and girls. Other sports, like Martial Arts, are gaining popularity in the U.S., as a result of youth involvement. Clearly, these numbers support the theory that Americans love to see their kids involved in sports. But why, many foreign friends wonder.
Well, wondering the same thing, I took to the (suburban) American streets to find out. I wasn’t expecting anyone to admit that they force their kids into sports to build their college resumes or that they are really hoping that their 11 year old will one day receive an athletic scholarship to college (which is, by the way, incredibly rare: the U.S. National Collegiate Athletic Association cites a statistic of about 2 percent of high school athletes being awarded some sort of athletic scholarship to compete in college). Of course, there are those parents who do covet those scholarships for their kids and yes, those parents who somehow need their kids to live out their own fallen hopes of athletic glory do exist, but beyond these unavoidable realities, the responses were remarkably well thought out and more varied than I ever imagined.
Some U.S. parents emphasize how sports are able to teach their children commitment, integrity, and responsibility. According to the Kids Play USA Foundation, children who play youth sports are less likely to skip class, join a gang or abuse drugs. This may have to do with the mental and physical commitment children have to make to their teams. As children get older, sports become more competitive. As a result, athletes must commit huge amounts of time and energy to their teams. As they learn to work with one another and improve their athletic skills, many students develop deep relationships and ultimately rely on each other. The result can be lasting friendships among the players as well as an expectation that everyone take responsibility for him or herself for the sake of the team. For example, Jenny’s* 12-year old son Andrew had serious issues waking up at 7:00 a.m. She would practically need a bullhorn to get him up for school in the morning. When he joined a travel baseball team, she sat down with him to talk about how he would need to get up at 5:30 in the morning for some of his weekend games. The coach had a zero lateness policy, which meant that if you were late for the game, you sat out for the game. The morning of the first Saturday morning game, Jenny found Andrew fully dressed, eating breakfast in the kitchen at 5:30 am. He said that if he didn’t show up on time for his game, his teammates were going to “kick his butt.” He woke himself on time for every Saturday game during the season. Jenny thought a miracle had occurred. To Jenny, sports gave Andrew the motivation to take responsibility for his own actions – something that his parents couldn’t do for him.
Perhaps not surprisingly, some American parents begin preparing their children for athletics at an incredibly early age. Gina has very young children, ages 4 and 2. Her 4 year old has already started hockey, tennis and tae kwon do, as well as taken toddler multi-sports classes. She is anxious to get her boys involved in sports and has given a lot of thought to the benefits of athletic involvement. Her reasons are threefold: First, in Gina’s opinion, athletic kids are generally “the cool kids.” For her, athletic prowess will not only give her children an elevated social status that could be essential in an increasingly complicated teen social culture, but also help prevent them from being bullied. Second, Gina feels that this higher social status associated with being a talented athlete carries over into adulthood. This realization struck her at her golf club where she noticed that the best golfers were the most sought after for rounds of golf by other members of the club. To her, childhood athletics can pave the way for important social connections in the future, which can prove valuable socially as well as professionally. Finally, having seen her nephew’s commitment to swimming and the arduous hours he devotes to it, Gina sees how a sport can demonstrate the value of hard work: “I had always thought sports came easily to athletic kids. And while that may be true somewhat, I now realize the amount of passion, dedication and grit that are needed to be at the top.”
While the American commitment to youth athletics is certainly cultural, this enthusiasm can be quite contagious, quickly acquired by parents who come to call the U.S. home as adults. When Lynn immigrated to the U.S. with her husband, she was shocked to see how intense the parental interest was in all things athletics. Having young kids, she couldn’t imagine what all the fuss was about. As her children became grade school age, though, she began to see advantages to involving her kids in sports programs. She recognized sports as a way for her kids to incorporate exercise as part of a healthy lifestyle. Having three very different children, she also realized that sports were not a one size fits all activity, so that each of her kids could find a sport that was right for them. Her more reserved daughter thrived in her martial arts class (ultimately progressing to black belt), while her more overtly active boys were drawn to soccer and tennis respectively. Athletics had a way of bringing out the best in her children, and Lynn and her husband became fans of sports being integral to their family life.
Finally, U.S. parents can start their kids off in sports for one reason and then find that there are entirely different benefits to these activities. Michelle had this very experience with her high school aged twins. Originally, she thought that high-energy sports like swimming, soccer and gymnastics would be healthy outlets for her girls’ seemingly endless amounts of energy. Although the sports didn’t seem to tire the girls out, they enjoyed participating and found close friends on their teams. What Michelle did discover was that as the girls began to compete seriously in their sports, the team commitment provided a necessary structure around which the girls could organize their studies. When the girls had practice or a swim meet or game, they knew they only had a certain amount of time to finish up their homework obligations. Without any sort of mandated schedule from sports, the girls would dawdle with their work, and it never really got completed as well as when there was a time deadline because of practice or a competition. For Michelle’s kids, sports had inadvertently added an organizational structure to their daily activities, helping to create better-organized kids.
After listening to other Americans’ reasons for encouraging their kids to participate in sports, even if that means waking up at 5:00 in the morning, every morning, to drive their kids to ice hockey, gymnastics or swimming, I began to reflect on my reasons for wanting my children to start their own sports experiences. The answer, I realized, had a lot to do with my upbringing. My parents always emphasized academic success and never encouraged us to engage in any sort of athletic competition. As a child, seeing other kids completely invested in their teams made me feel slightly alienated, as though I was missing some part of my childhood. Fast forward a few decades, and you have me – a novice golfer and an amateur tennis player who winces at the thought of anyone actually watching me engage in an athletic activity. I can’t help but feel that participating in childhood sports may have helped me with my athletic misgivings. The result – I want my own kids to enjoy sports when they are young. I think it will help them gain a certain confidence, so that they can feel comfortable, no matter what their skill level, whether playing a round of golf or skiing a black diamond without cringing at every mistake they make. If they decide sports aren’t for them (definitely not the direction in which they seem to be headed), then that’s okay, but in the mean time I will relish every moment on the sideline. As my husband put it best while we watched our son rallying with a friend in tennis: “I would rather watch this than the U.S. Open any day.”
So what do you think? Does it still seem strange that Americans sacrifice so much for their child athletes? Would you give it a try?